Floodgates (a rant)

At night I can’t help but release the floodgates to an ever open expanse of thoughts drifting on the waters. They pick up speed up like boats down a river towards a free fall, slowly moving down stream until they fall off the cliff and make impact. The captains, they shout across the whitewater raging on, asking for help or a way out. They struggle to keep their ships from falling, from allowing these thoughts to just fall off the cliff, ready to explode. They’ve seen the floodgates open before and they know once they’re taken in with waves that there’s no going back.

One ship makes its way to its end and soon follows dozens more. A captain cries out insecurities, begging to be seen as well as the others. Another just lacks the will to fight the current while a third fails to rescue a friend lost in the waters. These captains all live out their lives day by day, but never all at once. It is only when the floodgates are open do these commanders all rage down the same sobbing stream, fighting one another. Their ships all fill in the ever open expanse all at once. Thousands of thoughts cascading by gravity’s whim down to a watery grave at the bottom of the waterfall.

Life feels like a solitary river at times, confined to one direction with one destination, entirely uncontrollable by you. Your thoughts fill up the waters and crowd until eventually, one lonely night, you release them to beat their paths only to crash as you recognize each and every ship. Their captains are you, how you act under those circumstances. Too much commotion and everything ends at the bottom of a cliff only to start back up again, recovering down a new, unbeaten path until the floodgates are again released. Life’s this endless cycle of control and emotion, until one day the river dries up.

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